My mother always reminded me of the way I tiptoed out of the Opera House after seeing San Francisco Ballet perform The Nutcracker for the first time. I was 7 years old and, like so many kids, it only took that one magical night for me to know that I wanted to be a ballerina.
I immediately started ballet classes at the local studio in my small town. My teacher was nurturing and loving, and I loved everything about those years — from the friends I made to the accomplishment I felt. What I didn’t know, but would soon find out, is that I wasn’t being taught basic techniques correctly and was adopting bad habits as a result. I was crushed, but my resolve to become a ballerina was stronger than ever, so my generous parents supported me by driving over an hour — 6 days a week! — to a studio with a teacher who did understand technique.
This studio was rigorous in all the ways we stereotype ballet culture — strict, fear-based, catty, and harsh. My technique improved quickly, but without the simultaneous growth of self-confidence. And I didn’t know how to listen to myself. The constant redirection and criticism taught me only how to aim for perfection for the approval of my "scary" ballet teacher. Years later when I tried to join the Oakland Ballet, I realized that I didn’t know how to listen to myself. I quit ballet, frustrated and disheartened, thinking I was done for good.
A few years later I met Katie Heil who not only mentored me as a dancer but as a teacher. She showed me that there was a way to build technical skills and self-knowing and confidence at the same time — all while creating a safe and nurturing environment. It was an art, not just the dancing but the way she wove together technical rigor and personal growth.
I immediately started ballet classes at the local studio in my small town. My teacher was nurturing and loving, and I loved everything about those years — from the friends I made to the accomplishment I felt. What I didn’t know, but would soon find out, is that I wasn’t being taught basic techniques correctly and was adopting bad habits as a result. I was crushed, but my resolve to become a ballerina was stronger than ever, so my generous parents supported me by driving over an hour — 6 days a week! — to a studio with a teacher who did understand technique.
This studio was rigorous in all the ways we stereotype ballet culture — strict, fear-based, catty, and harsh. My technique improved quickly, but without the simultaneous growth of self-confidence. And I didn’t know how to listen to myself. The constant redirection and criticism taught me only how to aim for perfection for the approval of my "scary" ballet teacher. Years later when I tried to join the Oakland Ballet, I realized that I didn’t know how to listen to myself. I quit ballet, frustrated and disheartened, thinking I was done for good.
A few years later I met Katie Heil who not only mentored me as a dancer but as a teacher. She showed me that there was a way to build technical skills and self-knowing and confidence at the same time — all while creating a safe and nurturing environment. It was an art, not just the dancing but the way she wove together technical rigor and personal growth.
When I left my own dancing career it was because I saw a desperate need in the arts for spaces that did exactly that — allowed for young people to learn something complicated and hard while learning about themselves and building their resilience at the same time.
That’s what we do at Sonoma Conservatory of Dance. And that’s what Sonoma Conservatory of Dance provides for this community. Not JUST the dance classes for all of our amazing students, but a space within our community that values the tenacity of the arts with the humanity of the artists. We deserve a space here, in Sonoma, to know that we are seeing beautiful things and supporting wonderful young people to be their best selves — inside and out.
So much of today’s culture is about the quick win, the fast urgent promises, and fleeting feelings. SCD is the opposite. We’re a pillar of this community because we build this unique culture together, intentionally and with care, and for the long haul.
As my 57th birthday approaches on August 19th, I’m reflecting on the long journey behind us and in front of us and would like to invite you to continue to build this vision with me, every day, every month, and every year by becoming a part of our monthly giving program.
That’s what we do at Sonoma Conservatory of Dance. And that’s what Sonoma Conservatory of Dance provides for this community. Not JUST the dance classes for all of our amazing students, but a space within our community that values the tenacity of the arts with the humanity of the artists. We deserve a space here, in Sonoma, to know that we are seeing beautiful things and supporting wonderful young people to be their best selves — inside and out.
So much of today’s culture is about the quick win, the fast urgent promises, and fleeting feelings. SCD is the opposite. We’re a pillar of this community because we build this unique culture together, intentionally and with care, and for the long haul.
As my 57th birthday approaches on August 19th, I’m reflecting on the long journey behind us and in front of us and would like to invite you to continue to build this vision with me, every day, every month, and every year by becoming a part of our monthly giving program.
My birthday goal is that 57 new people join us in supporting our amazing dancers and this magical place.
Any monthly gift is deeply appreciated and will help us to continue to nurture the creative spirit of the community through dance, including supporting families in need of tuition assistance and bringing The Snow Maiden and Appalachian Cinderella to the Sebastiani Theatre stage this school year.
Any monthly gift is deeply appreciated and will help us to continue to nurture the creative spirit of the community through dance, including supporting families in need of tuition assistance and bringing The Snow Maiden and Appalachian Cinderella to the Sebastiani Theatre stage this school year.